32 Weeks Pregnant

Hi everyone, just wanted to stop in with a quick pregnancy/weight update.

So... I'm still lighter than I was the day I found out I was pregnant, but I have watched the scale creep up slightly and that is hard!  SO HARD!

Above is a picture I took Friday at 32 weeks.  It's insane, I hardly even look pregnant at all.  7.5 weeks left, hopefully I can stay under my pre-pregnancy weight in the next 7.5 weeks!

A Love Without End

"Let me tell you a secret about a father's love...A secret that my daddy said was just between us.

Daddies don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end, Amen."

Believe it or not, I loved country music as a child.  That doesn't fit me now, but it would've if you knew a 7 year old Hollee.  The above lyrics come from a George Strait song that I loved as a kid.  Even as a child, that song could bring me to tears, and now I believe that somewhere inside I always knew it would be difficult with my dad.

No matter what, I always said that no matter how different we were (or as some say, polar opposite in beliefs but two of a kind in stubbornness), that I got lucky.  I had a father who always made sure I had everything I needed.  He sacrificed for me and my mother when we needed it.  He sold his beloved jeeps when I was 4 years old to put my mom through her nursing program.  When I was 22 and got kicked out of my living arrangement and decided to buy a home on short notice, he sold his extra vehicle so that I didn't have to decide to sell my classic car for a down payment on my home.  That is just the kind of man that my dad is.

But even with his good qualities, his bad ones can far outshine them.

My dad hasn't spoken to me since the day that I told my parents that I'm pregnant.  His hateful words about me getting pregnant on purpose just to ruin HIS happiness and how Mr. Banker would leave us like black men do were hard enough.  As the months have passed, those wounds have only gotten deeper as I realize that my son won't get to know his grandfather.  And I can't help the tears that begin to stream down my face as I think of how I will explain to Xavier when he gets old enough to wonder why he doesn't know his grandfather.

Random Update- Life, Pregnancy (Week 27), Weight

Man oh Man!  Almost a month since my last post!  I remember when I couldn't make it a week without posting.  Life has gotten busier and I am guessing it will only continue to do so once Baby Xavier is here.

Mr. Banker and I have been beyond busy.  We are getting the house ready for a new baby and that is a lot of work!  We're also just updating some things in my house that I should've done before and never did.  We put laminate hardwoods upstairs because I couldn't stand the idea of my baby crawling around on carpet (since I have dogs...yuck!) and did tile in the kitchen and bathrooms.  We painted our bedroom and put up curtains in all of the room of the house.  It is looking like a new house!  Mr. Banker's parents are coming to visit for our baby shower, so we are working hard to get everything updated before their visit next month.

Last week I went to Disney World with my cousin and her kids.  It was just a one-day trip but it was my first time at Disney World (you all may remember that I experienced Disney Land for the first time last year).  Here's a photo from our trip:

As you can see, I don't look too far along at all still, and haven't gained any weight.  No one can believe it when I tell them I'm 7 months pregnant!  But I definitely am and in a few short months we will have a sweet baby boy on the scene!

We got to see the 3D image of our baby last week as well, and he looks like Mr. Banker's little clone.  I swear I have never felt such love for anything as I did when I saw my baby, and it even made me love Mr. Banker more deeply, seeing him in my son.  It's the craziest feeling I've ever experienced.  Scary and beautiful all at once.

That's all I really have to report on the life, baby, and weight loss (or really maintenance, rather) front.  At some point after baby Xavier arrives, I would love to have a brachioplasty.  I hate my arms, you can see in the above photo how bad they are.  The skin just hangs.  But I guess it's a consequence that I have to live with from getting to 345 pounds, until I can afford to fix it.

Revision Recap

So it's been 10 months now and for some reason, at this time, I feel very compelled to re-tell my revision story.  Why did I do it?  What is it like?  Am I satisfied?  Maybe all this is coming up because the revision rate among the bloggers I began with is INCREDIBLY high.  I have also been asked 5-6 times recently in a facebook support group about my experience, so here I am documenting it all again in one post.

I had lap band surgery on 17September2012.  I had read lots of blogs and forums about the lap band, but I wasn't really prepared for my own personal experience.  I wasn't prepared for all the throwing up.  I mean, it was really a daily thing for me.  If I didn't get sick during the course of a day, that was akin to a miracle.  Then, after about a year, I couldn't get my restriction right with the normal 4-6 week fills.  I was literally getting a fill every 2 weeks in an attempt to maintain the 100 pounds I'd lost.  I spent a lot of time fearing food... was I going to eat too much?  Was it going to make me sick?  Was I going to get that painful 'stuck-in-my chest, can't breathe' feeling?

So I began the revision process and it took 3 appeals to finally get approval.  I was an emotional wreck during that 6 months, but I finally got the approval and I was so happy.  I actually planned to revise to RNY on my doctor's recommendation, but that provided further insurance hurdles and I revised to sleeve to avoid losing my approval.

The surgery itself was quite easy.  Not much pain and I healed so well.  It was definitely easier revising to the sleeve than my initial lap band surgery.

So here we are 10 months later and I'm so happy.  The weight loss hasn't been phenomenal.  I'm about 60 pounds down from what I was at the revision surgery and only 20 pounds from my goal weight.  I'm not going to complain about that considering I'm 6 months pregnant.

The REAL difference though is my quality of life.  I never worry about how the weather will affect my tool.  All of you who are banded know that things like PMS, weather, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, etc. can make that fickle bitch of a band tighten up like you couldn't have imagined.  So no more worrying about that.  I don't fear food.  I never throw up after eating.  It's a whole new world.  The sleeve is everything I THOUGHT the band was going to be.  It's perfect.  There is still a small part of me that wishes I'd gotten the RNY just because weight loss is more rapid and it prevents acid reflux, but overall, I'm so happy.  I wish I'd done the sleeve or RNY initially.  The Lap Band just really wasn't a good option for me.

Just an Update

Hi Everyone!

It's been a while since I've written, because quite honestly I haven't known what to write about.

I'm doing great and Baby Xavier is doing well too.  I'm finally over the horrible morning sickness phase so I haven't been gaining or losing weight really.  I'm glad to be done with the sickness- it reminded me A LOT of how it felt to be banded... not a reminder I ever want again.

I'm 5.5 months pregnant now... just 3.5 more months to go!  I'm really not showing at all.  There's a part of me that wants to know what it's like to have a baby bump, and another part that is horrified at the idea of having to lose that bump after baby is born!  I'm torn, but regardless, what is going to happen will happen.  I've kind of decided I just won't get a baby belly, but that is unrealistic, right.  I can see him when I lay on my back in the mornings in bed.  When I stand, I don't look even a little pregnant.  I can kind of see how those women did it on the show "I didn't know I was pregnant".

I'll leave you all with a photo of my sweet, squirmy, baby boy!

Hospital Weight Gain :(

Somehow, I GAINED weight while in the hospital-- 4 pounds to be exact.  I don't know if the hospital food is just that good (ugh... I'm going to guess that isn't it) or that fattening... or if baby is just growing.

Last week my lower abdomen and back started hurting, but I assumed it was just pregnancy related pain and went on about my business.  Mr. Banker and I had a busy weekend, so when we got home Sunday we laid on the couch together and took a nap.  I woke from my nap with sharp pains in my back and realized this pain was too familiar-- all those kidney stones I'd had, they felt JUST LIKE this.  Mr. Banker thought I should go to the hospital, but I wasn't very interested at first because I thought there wasn't much they could do for me since I'm pregnant.

A few hours in though, I began to worry that I might have a stone blocking my ureter and need a stent (I've had 2 stents in the past) so I decided it was time to go to the hospital.  They found no stone, but that I had a severe kidney infection.  Severe enough that they admitted me to the hospital right away for IV antibiotics.

I had a lovely 2 night stay at the local hospital and fortunately came home yesterday. Nowhere is better than home, in my own bed, with my own dogs, and my own Mr. Banker.

Baby Gender Reveal

If you want to know the gender.... Go here:

Find out the Gender of Baby F HERE!!!

And a few photos from the day:

Hopefully Mr. Banker won't mind that I put his photo up here.

He's so happy with the outcome that I don't think he could possibly be upset ha!

Yesterday was such a wonderful day filled with friends and family!  There was so much excitement that I couldn't sleep at all last night.  Today will be a long day!